"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore." - Ogden Nash

"Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences." - J. K. Rowling

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy." - Sam Levenson

"Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa." - Matt Groening