"Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos." - Matt Groening

"I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves." - Ellen DeGeneres

"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made." - Otto von Bismarck