"It's a weird year." - President George Bush

"Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets." - Ambrose Bierce

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain

"I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves." - Ellen DeGeneres

"The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth." - Charles Luckman

"Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused." - King Charles I, of England

"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody." - Mark Twain

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don't like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that." - Bill Shankly